The Real Heaven and Hell

Apr 10th 2012

It couldn’t have come at a time more hostile toward the Christian/Catholic faith. I was in college and seething like Christopher Hitchens or Bill Maher with less than subtle contempt for ‘the faith’. Why? Well for starters I had been to a dungeon in Italy that housed the horrors of the Inquisition. I knew the story of Giordano Bruno. I was dating a girl whose sexuality was crushed when her boyfriend took her virginity and called her a sinner and a whore. I had a good friend who was tortured with catholic guilt every week for making out with pretty girls at a party. I had read Nietzsche’s “AntiChrist”, Bertrand Russell’s “Why I Am Not A Christian” and I was determined to write a more devastating book than both of them combined.

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Posted in Blog, Shamanism


Ayahuasca Vs. Iboga

Mar 4th 2012

ayahuasca, iboga, comparison, review, analysis, ceremony, ibogaine

In comparing Iboga and Ayahuasca the most difficult part is finding any common ground at all. They are as different as two experiences could be, though each of them are master medicines in their own right. The Iboga experience is completely unique in the realm of psychedelics, almost to the point where it should be a part of a different category. The intense stimulant effect of the Ibogaine alkaloid is largely responsible for the separation. Whereas most psychedelics either heighten normal senses or make them seem to disappear altogether, during the Iboga experience you are acutely aware of the physical discomfort of the body. Rapid heart rate, persistent nausea, intense dizziness, buzzing in the ears, and the stern voice of the Truth–This lasts for 24 hours strong. There were some people who didn’t sleep for 3 days after taking Iboga. Contrastingly, Ayahuasca arrives with a warm buzz, brings the fireworks, a purge, and then 8-10 hours later a peaceful connectedness that allows you a full night’s sleep. Looked at this way, Ayahuasca may seem preferable. However, the sheer psychobytes of content downloaded from Iboga is unrivaled, and part of what makes that medicine so incredibly powerful.

Going Farther vs. Going Deeper

The Ayahuasquero shamans speak of going father–To explore dimensions beyond our own, and this may well be a function of the DMT. With the strong correlation between natural DMT release during physical death, DMT seems to be a gateway to the realms beyond the physical. I experienced several of these dimensions in an epic Ayahuasca journey and can attest to the ‘otherness’ of these realms. Those who smoke DMT also generally report the feeling of seeing something far beyond one’s self.

The Iboga Bwiti shamans speak of going deeper, not farther. They believe that their medicine accesses the infinite nature of the soul inside of us, and that soul’s infinite knowledge that extends all the way to the beginning of time. In my entire 24 hour encounter with Truth, there was never the feeling that I was accessing anything outside of myself. It is simply that the self I was accessing was virtually omniscient and had our best interest at heart!

Content Delivery

In the Ayahuasca experience content is delivered to you largely through images or encounters with other beings. The images then can lead to greater introspection, but it takes some insight at times to understand what the medicine was trying to tell you. Perhaps this is because there is a translation issue between the dimensions. How does the non-physical dimension communicate with the physical mind? As the brain scrambles to form its own Rosetta stone to translate the input it is receiving, strange imagery is often the result.

In the Iboga experience there is no translation issue because it is you talking to yourself. If you can’t understand yourself you are in big trouble. People have called Iboga your ‘stern father’ and this is due to the nature of what Iboga tells you. It will very bluntly explain to you how you have been fucking up, and tell you to shape up! And for many of us, that may sound like our father, but really it is just your true self trying to get your mind in line with what would be best for your destiny.

Lasting Effects (Stickiness, Retention, Aftermath)

One of the problems with the Ayahuasca experience is that it is entirely dream-like in its presentation, and almost every ceremony takes place after dusk. So after you finish your dream-like journey it is about 2-3 AM, at which time you fall asleep and have actual dreams. So by the time you wake up the next morning the lines between reality and the dream state becomes blurred. You start to wonder, was that really real or just some drug induced dream? This little window allows our old enemies doubt and fear, or what Steven Pressfield calls Resistance, to creep in your mind and start to undermine your experience. But what is working in your favor with Ayahuasca is that you feel fucking GREAT the next day. You feel connected, clean, happy and strong. These feelings on their own battle fear and doubt, as you can simply ask yourself “when have I ever felt this good?” Anything that makes you feel that good must be real. I felt like I was on a spritual high for several weeks after my Ayahuasca journeys.

The Iboga is the direct opposite experience. First of all, you are awake for AT LEAST 24 hours from the onset of your journey. Often times people are awake for 48 hours. So there are no pesky dreams to confuse you. But the experience is so lucid and non-dreamlike anyway that I doubt even if you did find a way to sleep that you would have the blending effect that takes place with Ayahuasca. The problem with Iboga however is that staying awake and being under the influence of such a heavy stimulant temporarily crushes your serotonin, GABA and adrenals so it is easy to feel agitated, sad, and weak on the comedown. Those feelings are breeding grounds for fear and doubt, so you have to be careful not to undermine your own experience out of weakness. Once you recover some sleep it is very easy to assimilate your new wisdom into your life, but that lasting high that I experienced from Ayahuasca wasn’t present. People wouldn’t be able to ‘sense’ a change in my aura, but those who know my behavior will certainly notice that I have changed my self destructive and self-limiting habits.

The Physical Cleanse

Both of these medicines have remarkable claims of physical healing. While I cannot speak first-hand to any miraculous cures, the mechanism of action seems to make a lot of sense. Both medicines are purgative, although seemingly quite different. The Iboga makes you want to vomit, but it really felt to me more like my body was just trying to vomit up the Iboga as much as the anything else. With the Ayahuasca you feel like there is a little clean up crew at work in your organs, squeezing out all of the bad stuff, the decay, the bacteria, and then pushing that back into your bowels and stomach to be disposed. Sometimes you vomit, but always you are going to have some foul diarrhea. With Iboga there was no diarrhea, and actually to the contrary, it may have led to some mild constipation. But what Iboga does is completely re-tune your physical body. They say that cancers, viruses and illnesses have a different frequency than healthy cells in the body. This makes sense, as these pathogens are rapidly dividing and devouring at a hyperactive rate. If your entire body is forced to adapt to a new frequency, the disruption may cause enough of a weakness in the invaders that the immune system can get the upper hand and fuck shit up like it is supposed to. If I had to pick one thing that made me feel healthier though? Ayahuasca wins.

Preparation & Pageantry

“Dieta, dieta.” I can still hear Maestro Orlando repeating this word to me over and over. For the Ayahuasquero diet is a crucial element of the medicine. What you eat prior to the ceremony, or as importantly, what you do NOT eat plays a huge role in what you receive from the medicine. No dairy, no sugar, no red meat, no alcohol. Those are the basic rules with some variations in between. For Iboga, other than skipping dinner the night of the ceremony and staying away from other stimulants like coffee the day of, you are pretty much free to do what you wish.

As far as setting intent, the medicines not surprisingly also have different approaches. For Ayahuasca one is encouraged to think about two or three topics that you would like to explore, or teachings you would like to receive from the ceremony. Generally, one way or another you will almost always find that you receive what you are looking for, though it rarely comes to you in a direct manner. For the Iboga ceremony you are asked to write a list of specific questions of unlimited length that will be read to you for answering at the start of the ceremony. The answers come from your own voice of Truth and are direct and literal.

As far as ritual and pageantry there is nothing that quite compares to the transfixing magic of an Ayahuasca ceremony. The music of Ayahuasca is the Icaros sung by the shaman himself. They are sometimes haunting, often beautiful melodies passed down from generation to generation, taught initially by the plants themselves they say. The shaman works with rattles made of leaves, tobacco, cinnamon, rose water, and pours his energy into the ceremony, carrying you to the realms beyond death, partly by the sweat of his labor. His physical manipulations throughout the ceremony have a direct and dramatic effect. You feel indelibly part of something mystical.

The iboga ceremony is simpler, quieter, longer. The Bwiti music played has an incredibly high BPM which is somehow soothing for the hyperactive mind. It is almost like having music at such a hectic pace helps the mind to think more slowly… Or at least it entertains the manic, fidgety side of our brain. The shaman’s interaction is more verbal, talking to you during the ceremony in a straight forward and non mystical manner. However, at the beginning of my ceremony, Moughenda, a 10th generation Bwiti shaman, tapped something in the center of my forehead (third eye) that made a tangible impact. It sounded like two nuts slamming together, but whatever it was helped send my mind on the journey of its life. Also prior to the ceremony we had what was called a spiritual shower at the river,that had more heartfelt intent than many of the ceremonies of the Laika shamans in the sacred valley of Peru.

Million Dollar Question: If I have to choose, which should I do?

First of all, I think the question should be, which should I do FIRST? Because if you are going to make the commitment to explore the depths of your mind, soul, and the infinite universe, both of these medicines are the best things you can do for yourself. But time and money are obstacles, and I realize that it may be several years before you can save up enough of both to complete even one of these journeys. So here are some practical guidelines.

1. Do you have an addiction problem, eating disorder, or self-limiting mental issue? If the answer is Yes, then Iboga for sure.
2. Would you prefer to know the answers to your questions, or feel & see the answers to your questions? To know, choose Iboga—To feel and see choose Ayahuasca.
3. Do you want an experience unlike anything you can find in the physical plane. Something wholly other? Choose Ayahuasca.
4. Do you want to make peace/communicate with deceased family members/friends? Choose Iboga.
5. Is your mind the root of your physical illness or your body? For mind, choose Iboga, for body choose Ayahuasca (except in the case of physical drug dependency, for which Iboga is an expert)

Where do I go to experience these medicines?

Unfortunately these powerful healing tools are banned in our country. I have had to seek them well south of our border. While I know there are many very good shamans in the world, I can only recommend the ones that I have been to. But please do your own research and if you find anywhere else that is great, let me know and I will include the links! In the meantime here are the references to where I have gone.

Ayahuasca – Maestro Orlando Chujandama

IbogaHouse – Moughenda

Feel free to ask any more questions, as the comments section of this blog can turn into something of an FAQ!

Posted in Shamanism


Temazcal (Sweat Lodge)

temazcal, sweat lodge, shamanism, ceremony

It was cave-black in the small earthen hut. The opening to the fresh cool air of the jungle was sealed completely by a thick leather shield. A pile of molten stones was giving off immense heat from a small navel in the center of the ground. We had entered our 4th and final symbolic door, a full two hours from when we crawled into the igloo shaped sweat lodge. The heat alone was almost unbearable, and a full bucket of aromatic water that was about to be steam still remained un-spilled. I knew from the third stage that as soon as the water hit the stones I would be hit by a wave of heat like dragon breath. The last time with 6 fewer molten stones, I had gone prostrate to the ground, gasping for what little air I could find. This time I resolved that I would not falter, would not lay down in an act of submission, and my voice would not waiver, no matter how desperately I wanted to escape. This was the time to be a warrior. This was the purification of fear and doubt. The shaman splashed the water on the rocks, and the ancient chants of defiance and gratitude were raised to the beat of the drum…

The sweat lodge is a North American spiritual tradition that followed the path of the Native Americans from Canada to Central America. Often associated with the Peyote tradition, I would learn first hand that no plant medicine is necessary to have a profound, psychedelic-like experience. The power of the sweat lodge lies in both an intense purification through sweat and pungent herbal smoke, and the creation of what truly feels like a near-death experience. In every good sweat lodge comes a point where your body will tell you that you cannot handle any more heat or you will die. In pushing through that point, you conquer your fears of death and have a deep appreciation for life.

While the traditions and ritualism surrounding the Temazcal varies dramatically the idea is usually the same. You give your voice, your sweat, and your intentions to the Earth and your fellow creatures on the planet in a humbling sacrifice. In return, you are purified, cleansed, rejuvenated and the doors of perception wiped clean.

Unlike many of the other medicines of Shamanism the sweat lodge is an active medicine. You do not have time for deep introspection like you would in an isolation tank. You are in a battle, and you keep your mind occupied by remembering what you are fighting for.

For myself, the moment that “fourth door” signifying the end of the Temazcal was opened, and I lay on my back looking up at the jungle canopy above, breathing the cool misty air, I had an appreciation for nature and the simple act of being alive in a potency that no medicine had ever given me. Only Ayahuasca had a similar effect, but whereas the Ayahuasca aftermath was long-lasting and mild, this was acute and incredibly powerful.

I recommend the Temazcal for everyone to experience. But be prepared to go to war with your fear and your weakness. If you are claustrophobic or hypochondriacally inclined be ready for the fight of your life. And when its over, look around you at the stars, the earth, the sun, the sand, the plants, the animals your fellow humans… And remember why life is worth fighting for.

Posted in Shamanism


To the 8th Dimension – An Ayahuasca Tale

Aug 2nd 2011

I was told that it takes 28 days for you to integrate what you experienced in the worlds opened up by the Ayahuasca. The shamans who guided our journeys in the heart of the Peruvian Amazon warned us to take things very slowly upon our return, as the inner process was still incomplete. I’m a warrior, I told myself. 28 days are the number of little white pills in my fiancé’s purse! I’m gonna give myself a week. So then after 2 days I dove back into my life like a pitbull on Viagra in a steak house full of bitches. After all, I had been to the 8th dimension. I had experienced a reality that few have ever been privy to. What could possibly slow me down?

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Posted in Blog, Shamanism


Blue Lotus Oil : The Land of the Lotus Eater

Mar 23rd 2010

Substance: Blue Lotus Oil
Acquired: I am Shaman shop
Dosage: 1/3 vial in a cup of peppermint tea.

March 20, 2010

After having been well acquainted with the positive effects of the Lotus / Kava tincture, I had for quite some time been peacefully looking forward to sampling a bit of the prized vial of Blue Lotus Oil. It takes 1 ton of lotus petals to create one kilo of the liquid, making it second in worth only to Cleopatra’s vagina oil.

It was about 11:30 pm and after a fairly listless day made better by sentimental reminiscing over some old photo albums, I decided to sample the lotus. I steeped a cup of Egyptian Licorice Mint Yogi Tea, removed the bag and set the cup on my desk. I retrieved the vial of lotus oil and opened the stopper, bringing it to my nose, sniffing like a pervert in a Laundromat. Surely it was just my mind, but a sense of blissful calm flooded over me from the exotic poppied scent. I thought about the story from the Odyssey, the land of the lotus eaters, and hoped that I too would be an initiate of this legendary flower. I tipped the vial over gently to release the sweet unguent into my yearning cup of hot tea…

And, nothing. The damn liquid was too viscous to leave the end of the vial. I tipped it completely over. Not a drop escaped. I gave it a little shake… The liquid bulged for a moment and then sucked back into the converted perfume sample tube. This wasn’t working at all. I weighed my options, relying on years of experience with ketchup bottles as a reference. I could either get some object like a toothpick and release the surface tension that way, but risk losing $5-$8 of the oil as it traveled down the wood and onto my fingers…OR I could give it a savage dash and hope for the best. I chose the latter.

BAM. Lotus splashdown… I had no idea how much went into the cup until I held the vial up again. It looked like I put about 1/3 of the oil into the cup. Not exact science like I had hoped, but close enough. The lotus made little oil-spill pools on the top of the hot, minty licorice brew and as I raised it to my lips I once again was taken by how pleasant the smell was. With the first sip, the taste rivaled my olfactory delight.

T-2 minutes: A broad smile crept across my face as I felt a warm relaxation flood through me. I muttered out loud “This is nice..”, apparently so any tea-party ghosts would know how I felt. I stopped messing around on the computer and focused my whole intent on savoring the last of the tea.

T-5 minutes: Very relaxed now. The aching sense of nostalgia and youth-lost that had idled in my stomach after perusing the photo albums was released in a sea of blue calm. I didn’t mind the former feeling of nostalgia, but I also wasn’t upset to see it go. It was just the way of the thing, and that was fine with me.

T-5 to -90 minutes: The next hour and a half were very enjoyable. At a calm and relaxed pace I chatted with some friends, took a hot bath, carefully cleaned my teeth. I engaged in a text discussion with close friend Montana who had just seen Avatar for the first time. After spending the last hour mostly unconcerned with the cares of the world, I was happy to find out my emotional spectrum was still available as I recounted the deeds and meaning of that movie.

I found my mind to be extremely lucid, as if the channels of my brain instead of being warm and foggy as they get with pharmaceutical opiates, were open and clear. In this lucid state I came to a new synthesis of understanding regarding what comprises a truly balanced society (I understood that finding the median of a society was far more important than the mean, but this is a topic for a future blog!)

I happily texted my love to my girlfriend, set my phone down and like a cat in a warm blanket, drifted  into a peaceful sleep within minutes of hitting the pillow (usually it takes 10-15 minutes).

T- Next Morning: I had a great sleep and a kick ass dream. I dreamt I was a vampire playing basketball at dusk in a park (yes I am aware of the Twilight similarities, but I never saw that movie.. except for a few minutes or 40) I could float and was dunking the fuck out of the ball. My best play was when some Delbert pulled up for a three pointer from the top of the key and I floated from under the rim and Dikembe Mutombo’d his ass into the back court, chased the ball down and two hand Shaq slammed it at the other end. There were other vampires but clearly they couldn’t hang with my skeelz.

In addition to my tween fantasy dream, I felt great the next morning. I was rested and refreshed… had two excellent workouts and a great Sunday. So without further ado, my name is Chris Marcus, and I am a lotus eater.

Posted in Shamanism